"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers."
- Adrienne E. Gusoff




A friend caught wind that I liked to write, and she stole a piece from an old friend to read. When she was told it was written ages ago, and that I didn’t do as much now, she struck up a conversation about it. This is what went down.

Her: So, you still writing those stories?
Me: You’re a silly, silly person for asking. Shame on you.
Her: That wasn’t a yes or no
Me: Damit. Yes and no.
Her: Do you always dance around a subject?
Just answer the question lol.
Me: Ok, not as much, I just haven’t been writing as much as I used too. I still throw stuff out occasionally, but I keep it too myself.
Her: Why would you stop? You were pretty good back when we were in school, surely you’ve got better?
Me: You’d think, but I don’t see it.
Her: Familiarity breeds contempt.
Besides, you can’t judge your own writing. Create it, edit it and change it, yeah, but you can’t judge. That’s left to your audience.
Me: You may have a point there.
Her: Do you think Da Vinci judged his own works? Stephen King or Tim Burton? No, they all left it to their audience, and stuff they figured was mediocre turned out to be spectacular under other eyes.
Me: Lol, I doubt I’m that good.
Her: You could be if you wanted too. You’ll never know unless you try. What does your audience think
Me: My audience was deviant art, but it’s gone quiet as of late.
Her: That because your audience has vanished, or you
Me: Shush. I don’t know what it is, I guess some would call it a writers block, but that’s pfft. Lack of motivation if I’m honest.
Her: Fair enough, but sometimes we lose motivation to do a lot of things. If we stopped doing them because of that, we wouldn’t have all the wonderful art we have, or all the scientific break through that we’ve experienced. Truck through it.
Me: Yesmiss.
Her: Will you write me something? Something like your old stories, the spooky, plot riddled twisting style stuff. Only new, not an edit or any type of cheat
Me: But I lost my fingers in a terrible accident involving a biro pen, airplane and snowball.
Her: Dictate it to Microsoft Sam.
Me: Spoil sport.
Her: Go on, will you? Say, 10,000 words as soon as? Maybe you’ll catch your motivation during it?
Me: Fine. But if I win, I want a cookie (I want a lot of cookies lately…
Her: Deal. Now piss off and write.

So it is, I’ve been challenged. In my optimistic thoughts, I complete the challenge, create an excellent piece of Lit’ and become a millionaire. In honesty, I lose motivation and it sucks. But I’ve been told I can’t judge, so I guess it’s up to you lot






I’ve not left England for almost seven years. I’m working on getting my own passport, but when I do I need to put it too good use. Who has any idea where I can go, people I can meet or international laws I can break?

"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers."
- Adrienne E. Gusoff




What would you do if you could predict the future? Or move objects with your mind? What about if you could delve into the thoughts of another person?

For a few of you, these may sound like the powers of Super Heroes, of people who fly and speed across the world saving lives and living in praise for their actions. But what if the world was darker than that? What if these people weren’t superheroes, but just normal, everyday folks? And what if their powers were supernatural in nature, just the thinnest layer of a vile, horrifying World of Darkness…

What if the power to foretell the future held nothing but death and misery…





Ok, maybe not ‘in’ in a sense of I’ve been completely accepted, but I have applied and am working my application to start attending University in September 2009. For the rest of the year I’m working in a small café/shop for the University on pretty dam good wages. Basically, exactly what I planned to be doing anyway. The amazing thing is, since the place I work is inside the Uni and specifically for it, the manager has said I’m pretty much guaranteed at least a part time job whilst I study.

Tell me I’m not made of cake.

PS. The course I’m studying is Computing and Video Game Development. Some may think it’s a cop out Degree, but it isn’t. Technical aspects include Programming and Scripting, Music and Audio Track Editing, 2D and 3D Graphics and Texturing, 3D Level Design and 3D Modeling and Animation, as well as a whole bunch of stuff on Creative Development and Storyboarding and Game Narrative Development. Fingers crossed

"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers."
- Adrienne E. Gusoff




If you listen really closely…

Do you think you would hear the collective heartbeat of an entire planet, or maybe the laugh of some kid in a different country?

It’s amazing how the small things on this planet make us smile. For me, I’ve been smiling a lot at a certain girl. On the bus a man smiled because another guy gave him the newspaper as he was getting off the bus. It was the only newspaper on the entire bus. The weather woman on TV smiled when she pointed to the sun symbol on her board, coincidently located above where I know the BBC studio’s are.

Earlier this year I got mail for my Birthday (yeah, ‘cos it’s usually that rare for me). Funnily enough this was shipped to me by Amazon as a pressie from *LadyHathaway, and consisted of, but not limited too, goodness and smiles. In short, it was the commentary by Danny Wallace, about his journey to form a collective (not a cult, mind you). Read about it here or simply trust and take a leap of faith. You can do that over there.

I’m working on something along with writing and prepping for University. I have stuff I’m putting up after this journal entry but the bigger thing will be a while. All I can say is go here for a hint.





I'm talking about habits here. For those who didn't know I used to be a smoker. Key word for those who aren't as observant as some is used I've officially been nicotine free for four weeks and the 'hard phase' has pasted. It helped that I wasn't doing it just for the sake of 'better health' and all that jazz. There was another, deeper motivating factor and its defiantly worked.

The habit I'm picking up is exercising. I've done a bit of reading and decided that forming a habit is harder than it sounds. As a guy who says he'll try to write a little each day I know it’s not talkin' the talk, but walkin' the walk that counts. None the less, I intend to build up a routine of exercise, small and manageable, gradually building up to a fitter body, and a mind to come with that. I start tomorrow morning, with a light jog

Again, that motivating factor is still about, and I’ve proven to myself I can do hard things. Wish me luck!







For anyone that likes to talk writing, crits or just general procrastinating, drop into ProsePlease Chat; we need more fresh blood

"A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits."
- Robert Heinlein



Writings been slow over the past week, but my excuse is really good. You see, aliens kidnapped my pen, explaining that they needed to ‘downgrade’ because another alien race infected their technology with a virus that makes it go crazy and attack them. And that sounded better in my head.

Ok, but really, it’s been a long week. My sister came down with the Welsh bunch (being her husband and my two nieces as well as her dog, Casper), cousin from Canada and her husband, and a few others. They came down for my Nan’s 80th Birthday party. She didn’t know her Granddaughter and Great Granddaughters where coming, so her face was priceless afterwards. There where 18 people that came to her party and it was a great party overall.

Now, on to the name of the journal; I have a big choice to make. The core of the decision is where I move too. Since I lost my job almost five months ago I’ve been looking and nothing has come up. My sister has offered to let me stay with her and it’s probably the most viable option. I won’t have to pay rent until I’m on my feet and even then it won’t exactly be a huge dent in my pocket. I was going to do this until another offer hit the table.

The second offer came from Steph, whom some of you know and some don’t. She’s moving down to Coventry to go to University and has offered to house share with her. This would be the totally fresh start option and one I’m giving serious thought. The only thing that worries me about this is whether it’s a good idea considering our history and her less than desirable availability.

The last choice is moving out into a house with my best friend somewhere closer to home. In truth, I’m not really sure about this one. I’d love to share a house with my mate and know it would be great fun, but I want to get out of Oldham and go somewhere new.


For anyone that likes to talk writing, crits or just general procrastinating, drop into ProsePlease Chat; we need more fresh blood

"A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits."
- Robert Heinlein


It’s been an active weekend; first off, I went through a break up. Funny how you think it’s the end of the world when you end a good relationship. I know it isn’t, and I’ll be fine, but you never really welcome these times. I think the important thing is to take what you’ve learnt about the relationship, and move on. Apply it to the future, and everything should turn out alright.

I also realized that this Friday will be my 200th day of consistent writing ^^. Granted, some of the days I’ve only written only in my diary, but for someone who’s never kept a personal journal before, 200 consecutive days of journal writing equals a big achievement. I’ve also completed three short stories, working on the fourth at the moment. So far the Alternative Enlightenment collection is standing at 45,000 odd words. I don’t think I’m that intimidated about writing a full length novel anymore. I'm also thinking of posting one of the other shorts apart from Spirit Journey up here. I'll wait until my favourite sneak peeker reads Deadline Prophecies and I might post it up on dA. Until then, imagine I'm writing whatever you want me to write.

Quick plug; ~saintaspie has finished her book and is undergoing the final preparations for publishing. Her works include a sort of dark humor, horror and dystopian stories and I personally am looking forward to the release of her new book. Go check her out; all the cool people are and you want to be cool, right? That’s ~saintaspie in case you missed it the first time. And for everyone else ^^

For anyone that likes to talk writing, crit’s or just general procrastinating, drop into ProsePlease Chat; we need more fresh blood